In My Engaged Era
How Drew proposed and musings on staying present in a moment
Friday, May 02, 2025
I had initially been anticipating a quiet workday in which I’d be able to log off a bit early, get my nails done, and clean the apartment for a wine night we were hosting with friends the following evening. Unfortunately, a project I’d been hoping to get out the door on Thursday was delayed and I had to spend the bulk of my Friday wrapping it up to get out the door before the weekend.
I sat at my makeshift desk (our dining table) slouched over an Excel spreadsheet all day, constantly refilling my coffee mug for sustenance. "I’m going to have to cancel my nail appointment,” I said to Drew when he emerged from his office momentarily to refill his own coffee. “There’s no way I’ll be able to get this work done, go to that appointment, and still have time to clean the apartment.”
“Go to the appointment,” Drew said. “You always say it’s therapeutic, just go and I’ll get a head start on cleaning, it’ll be fine. We have all day tomorrow, too.”
It was true. He is much more capable of staying grounded than I am.
So, I got my project out the door, logged off, and headed to my nail appointment. It was therapeutic, and they came out beautifully. In fact, as I was walking back to our building, I took a picture of them to send to my sister because the shade my technician and I had selected came out so beautifully.
I checked my email on my phone as I waited for our building elevator, which proved to be a huge mistake. Something else had come up while I was away from my computer, so my brain immediately switched back into frazzled work-mode, despite the fact that it was now a Friday evening. I stopped in our mailroom, grabbed a package I’d been neglecting all week, and got into the elevator, willing it to make it to the 35th floor as quickly as possible.
I raced down the hallway to our apartment and unlocked our door. “Drew,” I called out. “My nails came out so perfectly, but I also have something else I need to do for work, plus we need to clean, and now I’m stressed.” I kicked off my shoes in the entryway and walked into our kitchen, coat still on, cardboard box in hand.
The living room curtains were drawn, a bouquet of white roses sat on the counter, and candles were lit. But what first caught my eye was a bottle of red wine we’d purchased in Napa Valley last year, that we’ve been saying we’re saving for a special occasion.
It dawned on me what was happening.
It really clicked when I turned to Drew and he was down on one knee with a small box in his hand.
Of course, I said yes.
I’m an overthinker (unsurprising, I’m sure), so I fret over everything. When Drew and I first started discussing getting engaged, it was no different: I fretted over what I’d wear, whether my nails would be done, and where he’d do it. Where was important, because I was adamant that it be somewhere private, intimate. This stipulation, of course, comes as a challenge living in downtown Chicago.
When Drew proposed, I was wearing yoga pants and had no makeup on for our proposal. There was no photographer, no friends filming it with their iPhones, no crowd of onlookers, no Instagram-worthy hands-over-my-face-in-shock photo. Just us, a moment, and a memory. It couldn’t have been more perfect.
In the moment, what I was wearing, where we were, and my lack of makeup were the furthest from my mind. Somehow, I managed to be fully present in a moment shared by just myself and my person. Turns out, he probably knows me better than I know myself, because a proposal at home had never crossed my mind, and yet it was exactly what I’d wanted all along.
Even more special? Our beloved cat, Nala, was there to witness the whole thing.
The following day, Drew surprised me with a party with all of our closest friends and family. The best part was one of my best friends flew in all the way from California just for the weekend to surprise me.
It’s been a whirlwind, and I’ve spent the bulk of the past four days just staring at my ring finger. It all came together so perfectly. I’m at that age where a lot of my coworkers, friends, and cousins are getting engaged. When I told my friends Drew and I were talking about getting engaged soon, they inundated me with well-meaning advice: “Make sure he tells you to get your nails done, hires a photographer, does it at sunset because that is when the lighting is best, and has someone there to clear the crowd ahead of time.”
They meant well, and I get that the pageantry of an engagement is important and a lot of fun for a lot of people. But as they were telling me these things, I couldn’t help but feel like that felt more like staging and performing my engagement rather than just allowing me to live in the moment, something I already struggle enough with. I nodded along as they talked but knew deep down that things like a hired photographer, beautiful location, and lighting just didn’t matter to me. I felt a bit guilty about that— almost like if I said I didn’t care about those things that I’d come off as trying too hard to be not like other girls. Or that my standards were too low.
I’m trying really hard lately to stop living my life concerned with how my choices come off from others’ perspective. Other people’s opinions of me simply aren’t my business. And so, my lowkey, intimate, simple engagement was everything I could have ever asked for. We did go out to dinner that night (he surprised me with reservations to our favorite restaurant), and we had an amazing party the next day, too.
I guess what I’m saying is sometimes we need to just allow a moment to be just that—a moment. Not everything needs to be documented. We think about ourselves too much. I guess I’d encourage anyone in this situation for any occassion to really consider how important pageantry really is to you, rather than how important those around us deem it to be. It is so easy to lose sight of what we actually feel when we’re constantly inundated with other people’s experiences, aesthetics, and opinions.
That being said, I’m glad I am grateful my nails were done. I can only be so low maintenance.
Thank you for reading and thank you for sticking around if you’ve been subscribed. I’ve been a little dry on inspiration to write lately, but now I have wedding things to be excited about so stay tuned for more on that and, of course, our usual scheduled programming.
xx Meghan
